Name: ________________ Date: ______________

Writing to Persuade or Argue - Paragraph with Paraphrased Evidence

Edit Paragraph (collaborative)

Directions: Read the following paragraph and determine a focus area for improvement in terms of the rules of Standard English (for example: verbs are conjugated incorrectly, commas are missing or misused, etc.). Then revise the paragraph to correct these errors.

Source: Graph from "Energy sources have changed throughout the history of the United States" (2013), www.eia.gov

Original Paragraph:

With a few exceptions, energy consumption trends has been relatively consistent since 1965. While there was periods of increase and decline in oil consumption, throughout history, it have held onto its position as the most-consumed type of energy. In other words, despite the introduction of new resources, like nuclear and renewable energy, most people still relies on oil. Speaking of nuclear and renewable energy, their usage have also remained relatively flat over the last 50 years. Unlike gas and coal, which has became increasingly popular over the years, nuclear and renewable energy still makes up a very small portion of the energy usage in the country. Overall, the graph reveal that change can be slow to take hold.

Focus area for improvement:

Revised Paragraph:

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Answer Key and Teacher Resources

Answer Key

Focus area for improvement:

verbs and verb conjugation

Revised Paragraph:

With a few exceptions, energy consumption trends have been relatively consistent since 1965. While there have been periods of increase and decline in oil consumption, throughout history, it has held onto its position as the most-consumed type of energy. In other words, despite the introduction of new resources, like nuclear and renewable energy, most people still rely on oil. Speaking of nuclear and renewable energy, their usage has also remained relatively flat over the last 50 years. Unlike gas and coal, which have become increasingly popular over the years, nuclear and renewable energy still make up a very small portion of the energy usage in the country. Overall, the graph reveals that change can be slow to take hold.

Recommendations for Instruction:

1. With class participation, teacher models editing a partnership's paragraph for one focus grammar convention (e.g., verb conjugation, comma use), thinking aloud while making edits.

2. Then, partners edit their collaborative paragraphs for that same grammar convention.